Eastern way to anger management

Now who doesn't get angry at one time or another? Everyone does. The only ones who have not experience anger are either now in the graveyard or are posing as humans on earth.

We keep hearing about anger management and these days anger therapy has almost become the norm. Why are so many people angry so many days of their lives? Frankly, I don't have a scientific explanation.

But I will tell you what I suspect. I suspect it's due to partly higher expectations on the part of the modern individual and the his frustration in being unable to meet other people's standards.

In other words, we all are victims of illusionary personal standards set by people other than ourselves. As a result of these expectations and a propensity to achieve worldly possessions and what-have-you, we are constantly in a state of frustration or anger, for want of a better word.

Over in the East, people are the same but their anger is tempered by the ancient philosophy of knowing what they cannot change. This is not a big secret. However, it is not a well disguised phenomenon that Asians generally suffer more than others.

It may or may not be true. But if you were to read the newspapers or if you are a student of history, you will quickly come to the realisation that Asians, or people in the East (no matter how Far East it is) had been subjected to natural calamities on a greater scale than experienced by others in other parts of the globe.

The natural result of the millennia-old adversities has made some people in the East a bit more mature and philosophical about human emotions. Anger is an emotion. It can either work for you or it can work against you.

For example, if you are angry about the present state of poverty you are experiencing, you can certainly do something about it. You can study more, work harder and be kinder to others in general. The last part alludes to the notion that if you make more friends, you may eventually have a greater chance of success.

If you have see a thousand tragedies, or experience decades of mental and physical punishment, you can develop a mindset whereby you can be unshaken by circumstances beyond your control.

In other words, you will become slow to anger. Among the Enlightened in the East, anger no longer finds a place in them. It becomes a luxury, they can no longer afford.

Why? Because anger only aggravates and excerbates the present state of matters. When you know from experience that anger contributes nothing but pain and suffering to your state of being, it becomes unnecessary.

When you understand that the your mental state or simply, your peace of mind is within your power to control, it suddenly makes a lot of sense NOT to let anger get the better of you.

Anger management is a phrase generated on the other side of the ocean, far away from the shores of Asia. The symptoms of anger are the same all over the world. It is a disease that prevails for millennia. It will continue to exist and prevail.

But as far as anger as a symptom that recognises no borders, the Eastern philosophers count them as another mosquito on their leg or wrist. They merely swat it away. It is that simple.

In the end, it boils down to one sentence: why be angry when you can choose to be happy. It's really that simple.

Did I hear somebody shouting from the back of the room: "But people make people angry!"

Why so, pray tell? If you allow another person to make you angry, you are merely acknowledging that he or she is pressing your buttons. I believe that's the modern term of phrase.

If you simply tell yourself, a particularly pointed remark has no effect on you, it won't be. If you say a personal setback has no lasting consequence on your entire life, its effects will disappear.

Who but you has control on your own anger. Think about it. Stare at anger in the face and laugh, and it will slink meekly away and bother you no more.

Chase away negative thoughts

Just about an hour ago, I was indulging in a bit of self-pity. Something happened in the office that took the wind off my sails. For the better part of 60 minutes, I wallowed in a bout of self-incrimination and blame.

The dark hour is over. I have recovered and regained my bearings. Sometimes, one easily slips into an avenue not desired. I suppose it happens to the most mature among us.

Moments like that serve as a lesson to me. I am sure it has happened to a good number of us. What does it profit a man to undertake a lonely journey on the sad side of life?

Now that the light is again shining on my path, I can think clearly and know that every individual who lives now, is another side of me. We are all part of a universal family unit.

It may be difficult to understand such a concept but the wise men of yore understood this philosophy. I am beginning to catch a glimpse or two of this vista of infinite wisdom.

In my present moment of clarity, let me not return to the track less taken. Surely, we the living are more deserving of a happy and healthy life. No individual yet born wants to lead a sad existence.

Let it be known that joy and inspiration is the right of every living human being. We the knowledgeable and the wise must lead the others who have yet to regain their sight to the road where shadows never fall.

Don't quarrel, for health's sake

This may be old news to some people but it still bears recounting.
All of us are guilty at one time or another for being upset with others, whether within the family or with office colleagues.

If you don't keep your anger inside you for any prolonged period of time, then there's nothing to be concerned about. But if you are the type to nurse a hurt till it bears roots deep in your heart, then you better sit up and listen.

According to the ancient wise ones, and recently among medical researchers, being upset, angry and unreasonably frustrated for long stretches of time, will do the angry person more harm than he realises.

First, it plays havoc with your heart. Second, it damages your liver and third, it screws around with your stomach. Unless you don't intend to make your life a long one, then you can ignore my advice and allow your family to collect your life insurance (if you have one!).

It doesn't need any intellectual argument to know that a very upset person will not only endanger his own health, he will also unwittingly cause an imbalance in his state of mind.

Generally, he will cause others to avoid him or worse, trigger a chain of malicious gossip about his bad self.

We all get upset, angry and downright unreasonable at times but let's not make a career out of it. Let's say, if you were to unexpectedly pass away, let it not be known that on your tombstone are these words: "Thank God, he's on the other side now."

Nobody likes an angry person. In fact, most normal human beings avoid people like that. It is a nerve-racking experience to be associated with such a person. If your house is burnt down, you just lost all your savings at the stock market and some insane person has just stolen your car, then you have a right to be angry and upset at the same time.

But being angry has got no long term benefits. In reality, most emotionally charged person will generally suffer a burn-out in due course.

Quarrelling is one of the best avenues to shorten one's own life. Don't go out looking for trouble. Don't pick a fight with strangers. Or worse, with people you love.

There's nothing worse than a person going through life making others feel bad. One antidote for a perpectually angry person is the realisation that no matter how much or how long your anger stays with you, nothing generally will change the situation.

So save your energy and learn to be happy. Find a reason to be happy. If you can't find one, be happy anyway. Don't worry about people labelling you as mad.

Better be a happy but mad person than an angry person with his days numbered.

So the bottom line is: Don't quarrel, for heaven's sake, as well as for yours.

Five minutes of self-therapy

OK, I will let you into a little secret. Almost everybody, with hardly any exception, does get blue, sad and depressed now and then.
For some of us, it is an everyday affair. This is what I would advise you to do because it works for me. Get a diary if you don't have one, and write down your thoughts every single day of your life henceforth.
If you have a blog like me, you can start your own journal. It doesn't matter if nobody gives two hoots what you have to say because it's all for you. That doesn't mean you are being selfish but it is a very normal human act.

This act of putting in writing your inner thoughts about anything under the sun is akin to opening a valve in your mental powerhouse. Humans were created for self-expressions in a million ways.

In the 21st century, the greatest gateway is now through the Internet. You can write anything you want, so long as you don't demean yourself and others. It is a very healthy activity.

It sure beats talking to yourself in public because if you do that, a lot of people will misunderstand you and begin to keep a wide berth between you and them.

So write down your thoughts, your feelings, your passions, your loves and your concerns about anything and everything that occupies your mind. Through the decades, I have found this activity to be one of the most invigorating and most refreshing pastimes that has surfaced in my life.

Like I say, this hobby takes only about five minutes, so I must stop here. Ciao!

Only this can you try

If you are an unsalvageable, lazy, king-sized potato couch person, there is but only one exercise for you. It has everything to do with your health - mental and physical.

Purge your heart of all hostility. Erase all unpleasant memories from your mind. Fill your heart and soul with only love.

Throw out of the window of your mind all thoughts of vengeance. Pray for all those who have hurt you, or you think are going to hurt you. Look at all strangers with nothing but concern.

Cry with all those in grief. Feed strangers and friends without any reason. Call your parents and tell them that you love them without any urging.

Put your arms around those who need the solace and physical assurance. Think about helping people in need all the time.

Pray incessantly for others because it will fill your heart with joy.
Think nothing of getting rich but only the happiness you can bring others.

These are all the exercises you need for a healthy and peaceful mind and body.

Open your Chakras through meditation

The yogis and masters who have walked the Path of Enlightenment know all about the chakras. The thing is they don't really talk much about these chakras.
For centuries, Zen masters and yogis have "open" or unblock their chakras one by one. In a way, it was like lifting one veil after another until all that has remained hidden is cleared.
When all the chakra portals have been opened, the mind and soul become one. The "highest" chakra resides on top of your head, or so it seems. It is just so much easier to say that the top of the crop is right on top.
When a person controls the chakra gateways, he also controls everything else. All his energy serves as windows to the other "secrets". He who knows all, sees all. This has always been the way, the light and the truth.
Until and unless, you unblock all those chakras have have sluggish and congested passages, the light and the truth will forever elude you.
Meditation is one key that can unlock a blocked chakra. One energy portal leads to another and all contribute to the inexorable flow of being that has existed long before man came into being.
When the chakras become undone, all that has been deemed impossible become reality. At that state of being, nothing remains a secret and all that has been hidden from human eyes will be revealed.
Man has to eat and drink to stay alive but with a man whose chakras are operating at full flood of its energy, the earthly and bodily needs of a man become irrelevant.
Death goes on holiday after that because there's no need for him to be around. You become one with everything.

Just plain lazy, aren't you? Do this nevertheless

The worse time to wake up in the morning is when you have this almost irresistible urge to doze off for another hour or two.
But discipline or just plain automation can put you in gear. How do those exercise freaks do it day after day, or night after night? It's not rocket science. First, you make a mental commitment to yourself. Second, you don't give it an afterthought and just go ahead and do it.
Like most of you mortals out there, I too suffer constantly and massively from many mornings of much lengthier sleep sessions. But life's always playing tricks on me so I have to wake up by 7.35am whether I like it or not on most mornings.
My routine is simple: rinse the mouth, wet the face with water to kickstart my inner engine. Then, I amble onto the hall and start my own personal system of exercise.
The system comprises a set of qigong movements, breathing techniques and a bit of SEAL body movements. All these may seem daunting to the unsuspecting but in actuality, it is over in about 45 minutes but I usually try to keep it down to 35.
Morning exercises have one drawback, sometimes you forget what you are doing. Your mind is asleep but your body is moving or swaying. It's all part of the reflex action conditioning.
I shut off all lights in the hall and let my body do the thinking. In the midst of the exercise, I slip into meditation mode. That means letting my mind slow down till nothing happens. In other words, I try my utmost to achieve nothingness.
If this sounds all a bit crazy, let me assure you that it is so because no normal person will give himself a kick in the butt to wake up after about six hours' sleep just to give his entire physical form a shock treatment.
I have doing this for years. What are the obvious benefits then? First, illness almost never surfaces - not even the common cold. Second, I allow my mind "to rest". This form of meditation helps to replenish the spiritual batteries of a person.
Don't convince yourself that you are an atheist. If you allow yourself the luxury of scepticism, let me tell you that without some form of communion with a higher level of conssciousness, every human being is just a shell.
I shall never be able to emphasise enough that deep breathing is one of the most essential techniques in achieving excellent health. Like all life-forms, we humans too need to breathe but most of us breathe wrongly.
We think if we just leave it to our bodies, the body will know how to take care of itself. Frankly, the body doesn't think, the body obeys, and you are the only person it will listen to!
Let the breath that you suck into your body in the morning drift through every pore in your system. "See" the air clearing and washing away all the tired spots and bits from your body.
The Zen masters had been doing this for centuries. What may seem to you as a very simple form of exercise, let me say that, if done right, deep breaths can clease or defeat all known forms of illness that can and will strike manking.
The proper method of breathing is to let the air come through your nostrils and channel/direct the air through your head, down your spine, pass through your navel and then up your alimentary canal and out through your open mouth.
This is the way of the qigong masters for centuries. When you are doing it right, the body begins to re-align itself in many mysterious ways. You begin to feel more energetic, you get less tired, you become more alert and you may even seem happier.
Laziness in performing exercises is really just a habit. To break that habit, you need to tell yourself that you might as well wake up and do it because when or if you fall seriously ill, you will be lying flat on bed, against your will!
People the world over are a bit strange. They all know that their bodies need to be exercise and they also know that if they neglect their bodies, there will come a time, not too distant in the future when the human parts will begin to deteriorate.
People in general are more into damage control. They will change their lifestyle after heart surgery or a stroke. If they don't experience those life-threatening moments, they won't feel motivated to do anything.
Life is really much shorter than we all dare to admit. There was one tai chi master who I know of, who said that doing tai chi is like "dancing in the wind". He said a practitioner should not give too much thought into what he's doing.
Instead, that person should just "go through the motions". Leave the mind out of it, and let your soul it.
At its highest level, exercising becomes the key to reach a realm that awakens every cell in your body. Those who have reached that level normally have no words to describe their experience.
The Indians call it "kundalini". It is really being just there. The idea is to sustain that moment and activate it with speed of a thought. Very, very few on earth can do that. It's like pushing the right buttons all the time, not missing a beat.
When or if you are able to do that, you literally conquer death. But seriously, you don't really want to live up to 150. It's not fun because everybody you know would have died by then.
One of the greatest purpose in this life, at this moment, is to make the most out of every second of every minute. That is your right and your privilege.
So tomorrow morning when you should be waking up at a certain hour but feel lazy and sleepy as usual, remember what I have said here. Frankly, you will have plenty of time to close your eyes when your time on earth is over.
Waking up and doing the right time is much more fun. Do it, time is running out not only for you but for everybody on earth. Having a life that spans 80 years may seem like a long time to you, but to those who understand the timelessness of life and the power of the moment, longevity is just a word.

One billion souls hankering for expressions

At last count, there are about one billion Internet surfers. Now, what do one billion do in the borderless realm that stretches from one end of the earth to the other?
We function in our own little cocoons, in our little study room, at the Starbucks outlet or in our indifferent spacious office environment. The nicest thing to come out of this wonder Internet phenomenon is the realisatioin that we are indeed not alone.
Suddenly, we secure the knowledge that everyway people crave basically the same things we do. We are not so strange after all. We all want continued good health. We want perpectual financial security. We desire the best things in life for our families and ourselves.
Some of us will achieve that. The rest of us will die trying. Pun intended. Good health is not a privilege but a right that must be earned. There are an exception few who come from good family stock and they do not succumb to diseases and viruses that easily as the next person.
The rest of us will have to take a major dose of common sense and not be reckless with our own lives. People live and die. There's nothing unusual about this. For every baby born unto this life, many more lives will have to be noted down in the death registry.
I have discussed this subject of good health with many friends and family members. All of us are in agreement that we want to remain healthy if at all possible up till the day we die.
But life on earth obeys certain dictates that have been laid down since time immemorial. The Law of Longevity states that for a man to have a relatively trouble-free life, he must look after his health. He must do so in the manner most sensible to him.
In other words, he has to build a strong temple for his spirit. His body must be strong just as a building has to be strong if it doesn't want to be blown down by a Category Four hurricane.
A man has to lead a healthy lifestyle. In other words, no excessive drinking, skip the smoking, don't make worry a major part of your career and eat sensibly for the rest of your natural life.
How many of us can do that? Not many, even though the advice seems simple enough. I was just talking to an office colleague about an hour ago. The subject was daily exercise. He admitted that exercising on a daily basis was essential for healthy living but he also quickly confessed that he was lazy.
I suggested a person should not indulge in worry too easily or excessively. Again, he admitted he's a worrier.
Certain things you can't avoid. For example, the race into which you were born. The body you are now in and possess. The country you were born in, and the family you have. These are beyond your free will.
The rest however you can do something about. In fact, you can do a lot about. Your health, for example. You can work your way to everlasting good health here on this planet.
If you succeed you can teach others to follow the same path. Whether or not, they take up your offer, is another story. The word is you are in a position to help others.
Helping others to live a good life is your duty. It will enhance your own life. That is one of the world's greatest secrets. And yet so few know about this. The problem is most of us are too preoccupied with ourselves.
We think the whole world evolves around us. Wrong! We make the world what it could be for us. We change things around us. We are the fate changers, if ever there is such a term.
You can blog till you are 120 years old and you still won't be able to reach where you want to go, unless you help the others to reach their own desired goals first.
Sounds strange, doesn't it? Don't believe me. Try it for yourself. Life is short. You can no longer tally and wait for the double rainbow to appear. You create your own rainbow. Anything is possible here on earth, as decreed by heaven.

How to exercise when you are asleep

Believe it or not, you can actually achieve a fair measure of good health with your eyes shut.
I am talking about sleeping and "exercising". I do not mean exercise in the actual definition of the word.
Many Zen masters have done it and are still doing it but they do not have the words to describe it. Ever try asking a Zen master to explain his actions. He usually gives you a koan. In other words, it is a situation that may or may not try an understanding of your problem and at the same time provide a solution to your woes.
Sleeping and exercising? How weird is that, you may ask. Well, my friend, if you don't believe me, you can try this the next time your head hits the pillow.
Think of a happy situation while drifting to slumberland. Preferably, you are engaging in an activity that opens the floodgates of joy and serenity.
A restful heart leads to a relaxed body and a relaxed anatony sparks a chain of physical reactions that helps a tired body to recuperate and rejuvenate.
Alternatively, you can imagine yourself being bathed in an aura of healing golden light. That's done just before you slip into that eye-movement stage that denotes that you have entered the realm of deep sleep.
The mind is the engine that opens the portal of the soul. Why do we actually sleep? We sleep because there can only be so much in a day that we can physically accomplished.
Human beings need sleep to re-charge and re-vitalised. Only entities without physical forms don't need to sleep. Mortals like us do.
People talk about being healthy without really exerting the effort. Nothing comes without effort, whether it be mind of physical. Basically, nothing's free. Not even sunshine and fresh air.
Notice how strong the sunshine is these days, or how polluted the air has become? Why? It's because for eons we take sunshine and air for granted. Well, since Al Gore came up with all his theories about global warming and its consequences, it suddenly dawned on us that we are now paying a high price for being negligent about Mother Nature and Mother Earth.
This principle applies even to our health. All sane people want to be healthy and live a long and prosperous life. But many of us don't want to plants the seeds of good health.
We do not have healthy thoughts. We do not harbour positive feelings and we do not invest in optimistic lifestyles.
Reap what you sow. This line is 2,000 years old. It was true then, it is still now.
If you go to sleep happy, chances are you will wake up happy. Plesant thoughts pave the way for a relaxed night, or even afternoon. Who in his right mind wants to wake up feeling miserable?
Go to sleep with the thought that you are a spirit embarking on a journey of self-discovery and self-rejuvenation. Do it, not just tonight but every night henceforth. In the domain of restful sleep are found vistas of joy, happiness and everlasting good health.
Go and explore these worlds beyond your wildest imagination. If you think millionaires have it good all the time, then you know nothing. A lot of wealthy people don't sleep easy. Simply because they are afraid to lose what they have, or they want to have more than their nearest rival.
When our eyes are shut, equality reigns. The path to a healthy body and a healthy mind is well paved in a good night's sleep. Don't believe me. Try it for yourself.

Make up your mind

Do you know what's more important than exercise? It is to make the decision to exercise.
Many of us want to be healthy, strong and rich. However, most of us would settle just on being healthy. It is not such a tall order. Exercising is as easy as lifting the spoon into your mouth.
But for some of us, even lifting the spoon has become a chore. It really doesn't matter what manner of exercise that you wish to embark upon. The crucial aspect is that you have told yourself that you will exercise everyday for 30 minutes for the rest of your life.

Is exercise really that daunting? No, I don't think so. I have been doing it for at least 40 years. Yes, it's true, we will arrive at the grave no matter how long and hard we exercise but why let ourselves be carried to our graves.
We really owe it to ourselves to have a healthy vehilce (body) and use it to the maximum.
When a person is determined to be healthy, he must promise himself that all the hogwash about being healthy is just eating the right food, then I believe that person is wrong.
Exercise is a mental commitment. You must want to exerice and then you do it. Don't wait till next year or until your first children is born. Just exercise.
Healthy begins first in the mind, then the mind tells the body to get on with it. Then the body emits signals that it wants to stay fit and achieve fitness. A plan of action takes seed in the mind.
This will soon be followed by action and finally by the grace of thought that tells you that you have made a mental commitment to yourself.
Henceforth, you will no longer be a sissy or allow others to tell your so. The shelf life of your current body is dependent on how well you look after it. You only have one body, may as well work hard on it.
Your will never know what surprises lurk around the corner from you.

Gentle on your mind and body

Martial arts or health-energising exercise systems like qigong, tai chi or yoga have one common objective - they all are created to give the practitioner a heightened sense of well being and reinforced immune system.

Since time immemorial, man has tried to extend his life-span beyond the years normally accorded to the race. Some have succeeded, while others have gone on to find out they have been embarked on the wrong road from the beginning.

The current developments with regard to healthy activities have given rise to many forms of internal and external physical systems. What must be impressed on those who are about to begin such a journey is that the "hard way" is usually the wrong way.

In other words, do not push yourself. That is not the way of the healthy. Instead, qigong and tai chi pave the way towards gentleness. It is the gentle way that much merit can be reaped.

Notice how the zen master remain still for hours, or the yogi meditating in silence for days at a time, or even the tai chi master moving as if he is being guided by the wind that brushes across the trees.

They all move in accordance with the rhythm of earth's breathing. It spells gentleness. Being gentle is then the key to good health. Do not rush. Do not be in a state of forced preparedness.
Instead be gentle in spirit, in your heart, in your mind and with your body. Be as gentle as a baby's hands. Be as gentle as the low tide waves that lick the sands of a golden beach.
Be as gentle as a lover's hands in yours. Such is the force that brings nothing but good to yourself and into your physical system.

Ultimately, be gentle with yourself in all manners of being, whether it be exercise or relationships. Do not underestimate the power that is called gentleness. Only the true masters comprehend this aspect of a force that is part of our true self.

Learning to take one thing and one day at a time

So you want to be one of the privileged few who is almost immune to serious illnesses and bouts of depression.
It's every easy. The Buddhists call it "being mindful". Being mindful means doing ordinary things in an unhurried manner.
I have been to a Buddhist meditation centre where the devotees subject themselves to doing things in a super-slow mode. It may seem strange or even abnormal to the untrained eyes but once you understand the philosophy that underlies such behaviour, you may even want to try it yourself.
When you hold a flower petal in your hand, what else do you do? To the Buddhist who practises mindfulness, it encompasses touching the petal gracefully and gently as if it is the last thing you will ever touch before you leave the earth.
You see the colours of the flower petal and be gradually amazed at what you ordinarily don't pay attention to. You inhale the fragrance that comes from one of Nature's secret treasures. You allow your heart and soul to be touched by the substance ethereal and of fleeting pleasure.
Marvel at the short stem that is part of the petal. You allow yourself to forget about time. As a result, time neglects you and you are no longer in the control of time.
Things seem to recede in the background. You do not allow thoughts to tarnish the holiness of that moment. Your gaze becomes one with the environment. You are now one with nature and Nature becomes you.
Sounds too transcendental for you? Perhaps for the ordinary Joe but not for those who have ventured past the gates of ordinary existence and into the garden of the eternity.
When you take one thing at a time very mindfully, you will begin to forget the strain of the day. Your heart and soul obey the dictates of what is and what can be. You will be glad that the Now factor is living within you.
Many Zen practitioners throughout the ages have sought earnestly this domain of timelessness. Very few have managed to gain entry into the realm of forever. You can arrive there if you don't hurry or if you don't seek to gain everything at a rush.
Such is the way of the wise. Such is the grace that comes from being in the moment.